ten things for guys to think about

So every once in a while, Esquire does a feature on 'Ten Things You Don't Know About Women', and I was going through and reading them and thought I would do one of my own. Then as I was writing them out, I seemed to realize that they weren't really things men probably didn't know as much as they were just comments or 'here's what you should do's. So here we go.

• If she takes the time to tell you she hates your Axe deoderant/bodywash/shower gel, she most certainly does - try some Old Spice, it reminds us of elegant gentlemen who like to get dirty : )
• We really don't care about your pornographic interests as long as you aren't indulging yourself without permission in front of us - seriously.
• Just because we dream about guys like Gerard or Sam or Hugh does not mean we don't think you're as sexy as them.
• When we bare our feelings, don't give us antidotes - act like a woman and give us comfort.
• You do one thing until the wedding - give us the money and get the hell out of our way.
• Yes, we do want you to love us like Johnny Depp in Don Juan DeMarco.
• Neat nails, yes - manicures, no.
• We may not 'talk' all the time, but eventually we do, and word will get around.
• Learn our sizes and always keep the receipt.
• If we need to eat healthy and lose weight one moment, then want a box of star crunches the next, don't point it out. You will be the newest source of our newely deflated self esteem.